Where Next?

So, the kids are out of school for the summer next week.  Award ceremonies and end-of-the-year parties this week and next.  Then we're on our own until school starts next year. 

So far so good; Ricky has been officially transferred to the other school, but I'm still waiting to find out whether or not Olivia has been.  I can't even get her current school to confirm that they sent the transfer request over to the new campus.  I'll throw a fit if they don't transfer her.

We'll meet with the Burkhart Center in a few weeks to do follow up for Ricky's behavioral observations.  Should get some advice on strategies to try there.

Went to a PEN Project meeting last night and learned some stuff I wasn't aware of, so that's always good.  I hate going to meetings/trainings where nothing new is discussed.  I'm going to the Parent Leadership Training in June to be certified, and I was told last night that the is the first step to getting a foot in the door for employment.  Might prove interesting...

So for now, we're enjoying the rest of the year and preparing for the summer.  I'm trying to come up with some ideas that will help keep both kids busy, entertained, and on track for next year.  No regressing in this house! 

Museums, parks, camping, swimming, VBS.  What else is there to do?

Advice from the Best!

I hate that I missed out on this opportunity!!  I didn't find out until I was waiting to pick up the kids from school that Autism Speaks was live hosting a chat with Temple Grandin this afternoon!!  I submitted a question, but I was too late in the queue to get pulled. :(  All the same, lots of questions and advice from the best of the best:




Thursday May 16, 2013

Hey Everyone! We are about to begin! 4:00

Hi, I am Temple Grandin, titled 'The Autistic Brain,' and I would like to talk to everybody 4:02

Comment From Guest   Will we be watching Ms. Grandin speaking? Or viewing comments? 4:02

It is just a text chat back and forth! 4:02

Comment From Michaela  Is it hard to deal with people who make fun of you? Was it harder when you were a kid? 4:02

When I was in high school I was bullied and teased. The only places i was not bullied and teased was the special interest activities, such as riding horses, electronics, and model rocket club. The students who are interested in these specialized things did not tease. I strongly recommend getting students on the autism spectrum involved in specialized activities such as Boy Scouts, FFA, Art, Band, Music, School Play, School newspaper where they have peers that share their special interests 4:04

For the technically inclined there is really fascinating stuff in maker community groups and hacker space. These are available in many cities where are the techies can get together and do projects, such as 3-D printers and other cool stuff 4:05

Comment From Kim  What are your thoughts regarding diet and 'leaky gut' in children with ASD? My son is on a strict GF/CF diet and I would like to know if removing this specific food group is helping. THANK YOU! 4:06

There are some children who benefit from special diets. It is subgroup for these individuals diary or wheat free diet may be helpful 4:06

Comment From Shazia  What is your opinion about ABA therapy? 4:06

When I was 2 and a half with no speech, Miss Reynolds my speech teacher did ABA on me. But in 1950 it was not called ABA and I had a nanny at age 3 who played constant turn taking games with me and my sister. Board games were used to teach turn taking and teaching turn taking is essential. 4:07

Comment From Sandra Wardwell  I would like to know if Ipad is recommened for non-verbal w/ ProloGo2Go or just type? 4:07

Some individuals have good success with ProloGo2Go.There are some individuals who can learn to type independently. A major benefit of the iPad is that when you type on the virtual keyboard, the print appears right next to the keyboard and the person is able to simultaneously watch his finger pushing a letter and the letter appearing on the screen without having to shift the position of his eyes. This is one reason why an iPad may work better than a regular laptop or computer. 4:09

Comment From Guest  Please help me with severe aggressive behaviors and medicine use. Very high IQ with aspergers and I have no help or support. 4:09

I would recommend getting my book, 'The Way I See It,' and another book from Future Horizons, 'Hope for the Violently Aggressive Child.' Both of these books have lots of information on medication. IN my booking, 'Thinking in Pictures' I describe my experiences with panic attacks and successful treatment with low dose antidepressants. 4:10

Comment From STEPS Students  Is the squeeze you made being produced for others? 4:11

Yes. They are manufactured commercially by the Therafin Corporation in Mokena, Illinois. Drawings are also available on the internet, use keyword 'squeeze machine' 4:11

Comment From Toni  do you have any memories of understanding before you developed communication? 4:12

I can remember the frustration of not being able to talk. I knew the words I wanted to say, but I could not get the words out. In my book, 'The Autistic Brain,' I show some brain scans that may demonstrate why I had problems with getting my speech out. When adults talked very fast it sounded like gibberish. My speech teacher would slow down and enunciation the hard consonant sounds so I could hear them and understand them. 4:13

Comment From Melissa  I have 3 children on the spectrum, one of the things I struggle with is I don't know if it is better to almost force them to do social things, or am I just making them miserable. 4:13

You have to stretch these kids and push them just slightly outside their comfort zone to get them to do new things and help them develop. No sudden surprises that will cause panic. My mother was always getting me to do new things. I can remember when I was afraid to go to my aunt's ranch. I was given a choice, one week or all summer, but not going was not an option. I ended up staying all summer and loving it! 4:15

Comment From Desiree  How does fluorescent lighting effecting my 6 year old on the spectrum. What kind of house lighting do you suggest? 4:15

Some individuals on the autism spectrum can see flicker from 60 cycle fluorescent lights. It makes the room look like a strobe light. I want to emphasize this happens in a subgroup of children with autism. If possible turn off the florescent lights if that is not possible put a lamp with an old fashion incandescent lamp next to the child's desk. Ask the child if he sees the print jiggle on the page when he reads. If he says yes, try different colored pastel paper such as light blue, lavender, grey, or tan or you may want to try the irlen colored lenses or experiment with pale pink lavender or tan sunglasses. My book, 'The Autistic Brain,' has lots more tips for sensory sensitivities. 4:19

Comment From Gabrielle  Is there an effective training to help caregivers or family better understand how the child with autism thinks or feels? 4:19

My book, 'The Autistic Brain,' will give you good insight into sensory problems in autism. I also have lots of videos on YouTube of my talks where I describe in more detail how people think or feel. Just go to the Youtube website and type in 'Temple Grandin Autism' 4:20

Comment From Kate  Dr. Grandin, I have two daughters on the spectrum, and I just wanted to say what an inspiration you are! My youngest has accepted and welcomed who she is because of positive examples like you. Than you so much! 4:22

Thank you very much. I hope that my movies and books will help motivate kids that are different that they can succeed! It is going to require a lot of work 4:23

Comment From Kevpin  What is the most powerful thing I/we can do to help? 4:23

Develop the things that the child is good at that he can turn into hobbies that he can do with other people and he can do in jobs as he grows up. My ability in art was encouraged when I was young and it turned into the basis for my design business. Build on strengths. There is often too much emphasis in the deficits. 4:24

Comment From Guest  Ms. Grandin, you have spoken about high functioning kids not being prepared to work. Do you have recommendations about how to prep them for self-sufficiancy? 4:24

At age 12-13 they need to start having their first jobs outside the home. They need to be set up informally with friends and neighbors and some of the things the child can do is walking dogs, buying groceries for an older person, working in a farmer's market, making power-points for local business, fixing computers... when the child is 16 the child can go into the formal economy - McDonalds, a Grocery, etc. They need to learn the disciplines of work. I had lots of work experiences starting at 13 selling dresses. This was a job my mother set up with a local seamstress, I cleaned horse stalls, I painted signs, I had internships when I was in college. By the time I had graduated from college I had done lots of work and I knew how to work. it is never too late to start! If you have a 20 year old you can start getting him out of the house and working. 4:27

I forgot on a job that you can do formally with youngsters... Many museums will take children as young as 12 as tour guides and it is an excellent place to teach social skills. You need to find a manager who is willing to coach the child when he makes mistakes such as talking too long, following people too much, or standing too close. 4:28

Comment From Nicole  What are your views on the new DSM diagnosis for autism? 4:28

I am concerned about the removal of Asperger's Syndrome and replacing that with social communication disorder. To say that social communication disorder is not autism is ridiculous because social communication problems are core deficit in autism. One good thing is the mention of the sensory problems. In my book, 'The Autistic Brain,' I have a complete discussion about the history of the DSM and DSM-5 4:29

Comment From Jennifer  Is there a specific state or two in the US that you recommended with the best services, therapies, 4:30

There is much variation between different states. I recommend contacting local support groups in your area. It is really important for parents to talk to other parents and network with local people 4:30

Comment From Irma  Please help us list tools we can use to calm the aggression for kids in school 4:31

Some aggression is caused by sensory overload. There are some children that will need to take sensory breaks to calm down. There is other kids where aggression is caused by teasing and bullying and steps need to be taken to stop that. In a nonverbal individual, if aggression appears suddenly, it may be an sudden medical problem that the child cannot tell you about. The most common hidden painful medical problems are acid reflux, heartburn, tooth infections, yeast infections, UTIs, etc. You have to rule out these problems when you have a behavior problem in a nonverbal individual. Also, nonverbal individuals are smart and if you make them do stupid things, they will rebel. I was at a conference where a very good ABA teacher told me that a nonverbal individual threw silverware because he was made to set and unset a table twenty times in a row. A better way to teach it, is at every meal you set the table, you eat and than you clean it up. He became frustrated because setting and unsetting a table is stupid and it is not real work 4:34

With nonverbal individuals, the best way to establish contact is to teach them words that mean something to them. Learning colors may have no meaning, but learning names of favorite foods and learning how to request these foods and get them has meaning 4:35

Comment From natasha  What advice do you give kids who get overwhelmed?? 4:35

When they get overwhelmed it is usually sensory overload. There are some kids who have extreme difficulty in restaurants or supermarkets and you are going to have to take them out of that situation and calm back down. I think a top area for research in finding resources for sensory problems because they really interfere with daily activities in noisy stimulating places such as restaurants and malls 4:36

Comment From Cathy  what do you think of social thinking therapy for toddlers? currently trying it with our almost 4 year old, I have a lot of parents asking me is it enough and that ABA is the way to go. Thoughts? 4:37

The most important thing with young children is having 20 or more hours per week of one-to-one teaching with an effective teacher that gets more speech, more social interaction, where you see your child progressing 4:37

Comment From anna  my son, now 8, was diagnosed when he was 2. your story has helped some of our family understand him better. he is now mainstreaming in school. Do you think mainstreaming kids on the spectrum is a good idea? 4:38

In young children I think it is really important for them to get contact with normal peers. I like to mainstream kids as much as possible, especially young children. I was one of the older teenagers that did not function in a regular high school because of all the teasing. I had to be taken out of that school. If you have a fully verbal teenager having this problem he may have to be removed from the situation. He should not be sitting around at home, but he should get a job and finish up his high school on line. We need to focus on getting him to be independent. For an individual with nonverbal or partially verbal, we have to before they age out, have good plans for their next stage of life. 4:40

Comment From Deja  My daughter was diagnosed with classic autism. She is in therapy and improving so much. Could her diagnosis ever change to a more high functioning autism or will she always have classic autism? 4:40

Autism diagnosis is a behavioral profile based on cluster of symptoms that usually appear together. There are some children that can improve so much, that even when they are carefully tested, lose most of the symptoms. 4:41

Comment From Lynn Shoemaker  I am a University Professor working with graduate students who will be teachers. What is one thing you want them to know before entering the field? 4:42

First of all, they need to understand the scope of the spectrum and at one end of the spectrum you can have people that work in high level jobs and at the other end of the spectrum you have very severe cases that remain nonverbal and have other medical problems. It is sometimes difficult for teachers to shift gears from one end of the spectrum to the other. One of my big concerns in seeing a real high level fully verbal child put in with a more severe class and not going anywhere. On the higher end of the spectrum we need to develop strengths and learn work skills. The other thing is, do not get locked into the label! Look at the child, not the label! Remember these labels are behavioral profiles and they are not precise. My chapter in 'The Autistic Brain,' on the DSM that doctors have changed the label of autism greatly over the decades 4:45

Comment From Frankie  How do you motivate yourself to do things when you don't want to or don't like to do them? 4:45

One of the things that motivated me to work hard at things like making signs or cleaning horse stalls, I enjoyed the recognition for managing the horse farm and making really nice signs. By doing these jobs I learned that even the best jobs have a certain amount of drudgery. I remember a time I had to paint a sign over when I did the lettering wrong. But I got great satisfaction when I got a project done and as an adult when I started designing cattle facilities, I looked at the finish drawing and the customer liked the drawing. Seeing the project built from my drawing was the biggest thrill of all. 4:47

Comment From Guest  Hi Temple. At what age did you become aware you had autism and when do you think it is best to let children know that they have autism? 4:47

You know anywhere from third grade to middle school is a good time. There is a wonderful book by Sy Montgomery, titled 'Temple Grandin' that is written at a sixth grade level with lots of pictures and drawings that tells about my life and about autism and I think it may help motivate a student 4:48

Comment From Guest  Hi Temple my name is kristi. My daughter is Ashli and she is severely autistic. She reminds me of you when you were younger. She doesn't speak and harms herself daily. Any advice on why she is hurting herself so badly? 4:48

Some individuals injure themselves have very severe sensory processing problems and verbal people that have self-injured have explained that they did not even realize they were doing it. Some of these individuals can be helped by an occupational therapist that is trained in sensory treatment and there are some that may need medication. I would recommend networking with parents and educators in your area to find the best professionals to go to. 4:50

Comment From Tracy  My son is 18 and has Aspergers. He found that his sense of humor and sarcasm helped him overcome bullying and teasing. In fact, it has even made him a bit popular at school. What worked for you? I am afraid as he starts college and the workforce, this may not be as effective or accepted. 4:50

That's good! Real good! He needs to find work where he can use this area of strength. He needs to learn how to willingly do assigned tasks and sometimes boring tasks. He also needs a manager that when he makes social mistakes, the manager will take him to a private office and explain quietly what he did wrong and the manager cannot be subtle. here is an example - A typical meeting might be, 'Calling your coworker stupid is not acceptable and you need to apologize to your coworker.' On my first construction project I rudely criticized some welding and I said it looked like pigeon do do. The plant engineer brought me to his office and he quietly said to me, 'We must nips these little cancers before they metastaticize. You will have to go up to the cafeteria now and apologize to Whitey the welder' and I went up to the cafeteria and I apologized for the rude language. it was done in private in the manager's office. 4:53

Comment From Nate  Hello. :) father of a 4 year old autistic boy. (Non verbal) I've always heard people say autistics don't really have a sense of humor. I disagree. What things do you find humorous? My kid loves cats and dogs and making fun of dad with his mommy. :) 4:53

They can definitely have a sense of humor and they can develop it over time. 4:54

Comment From Guest  how did you learn to manage time my daughter is about to get tossed out of woodrow wilson for being late to class but she doesnt have any sense of time any suggestions 4:54

I learn sense of time on our large school clock with hands. It had a minute hand that I could watch go around. The big hand on the clock moved every minute and it helped me to understand the passage of time. there was a constant emphasis on getting up on time and being at breakfast and dinner on time. I think that a clock with hands is easier to understand than a digital on teaching the passage of time 4:55

Okay folks we are going to take two more questions! 4:56

Comment From Allyson  How do I help my daughter (11) understand the importance of self care (hygiene, taking her medication, etc)? 4:56

I had a boss who very bluntly told me to use deodorant. There is a scene in the HBO movie is slammed on the table and that actually happened. I started having better hygiene because I wanted the job. 4:57

Comment From Traci  How do you feel about letting our kids play videao games? 4:57

When I was a child, watching TV was limited to one hour a day. The same rule should apply to video games or surfing the web. I think it is fine when a child comes home from school to play one hour of video games to calm down, but then they need to do other things. Unfortunately, I am finding too many smart young adults sitting at home playing video games all day and doing nothing else - not working is not acceptable. There are some individuals that can learn to program the games and if the child is mathematically inclined they should take some programming classes, or do art for video games. For every child that is capable of working in the video game industry there are ten more who have become recluse in their home 4:59

Comment From Guest  At what age did you start feeling personally responsible for your education 4:59

Mr. Carlock my science teacher got me interested and motivated to study. In my senior year of high school I turned around and started studying because I wanted to become a scientist. There is where a teacher can be a great mentor and get the child turned around. I also was able to visit him during my first two years of college. This helped me on the transition from high school to college. When i got to college I worked very hard, I sought out people to tutor me in science and math and took full responsibility to do well in college. 5:01

I have to say goodbye now and it was wonderful talking with everyone today!!!

5:01

More Scriptures!!!

I found this other autism mom's blog page, and she had listed all of these wonderful Bible verses for encouragement, etc.  Ah, timing is a wonderful and blessed gift indeed!

Here is the link to her blog as well:   http://autism45.wordpress.com

Scriptures That Ministered To Me!

(ALL from the Living Bible)–Written down by : Carole Norman Scott

Psalm 6:2,3 “Pity me, O Lord, for I am weak, and I am upset and disturbed.  My mind is filled with apprehension and with gloom.  Oh, restore me soon.”

 Psalm 13:2  “How long must I be hiding daily anguish in my heart?”

Psalm 55:6 & 7  “Oh, for wings like a dove, to fly away and rest!  I would fly to the far off deserts and stay there.  I would flee to some refuge from all this storm.” 

Psalm 25:15-17  “My eyes are ever looking to the Lord for help, for He alone can rescue me.  Come, Lord, and show me Your mercy, for I am helpless, overwhelmed, in deep distress: my problems go from bad to worse.  Oh, save me from them all!  See my sorrows, feel my pain; forgive my sins.”

 Psalm 27:7  “Listen to my pleading, Lord!  Be merciful and send the help I need.”

 Psalm 34:18,19  “The Lord is close to those whose hearts are breaking; He rescues those who are humbly sorry for their sins.  The good man does not escape all troubles — he has them too. But the Lord helps him in each and every one.”

 Psalm 50:15  “I want you to trust Me in your times of trouble, so I can rescue you, and you can give Me the glory.”

Psalm 57: 1-3  “O God, have pity, for I am trusting You!  I will hide beneath the shelter of Your wings until this storm is past.  I will cry to the God of heaven who does such wonders for me.  He will send down help from heaven to save me, because of His love and his faithfulness.”

Psalm 94:19  “Lord, when doubts fill my mind, when my heart is in turmoil, quiet me and give me renewed hope and cheer.” 

Psalm 4:3,8  “Mark this well: The Lord has set apart the redeemed for Himself.  Therefore He will listen to me and answer when I call to Him. 

Psalm 4:8  “I will lie down in peace and sleep, for though I am alone, O lord, you will keep me safe.”

Psalm 16:5  “He guards all that is mine.”

Psalm 31:24  “So cheer up!  Take courage if you are depending on the Lord.”

Psalm 32:7  “You are my hiding place from every storm of life.”

Psalm 34:1,2  “I will praise the Lord no matter what happens, I will constantly speak of His glories and grace.  I will boast of all His kindness to me.  Let all who are discouraged take heart.”

Psalm 34:4  “For I cried to Him and He answered me!  He freed me from all my fears.”

Psalm 40:1-3  “I waited patiently for God to help me; then He listened and heard my cry.  He lifted me out of the pit of despair, out from the bog and the mire, and set my feet on a hard, firm path and steadied me as I walked along.  He has given me a new song to sing, of praises to our God.”

Psalm 59:9  “O God my Strength!  I will sing Your praises, for You are my place of safety.  My God is changeless in his love for me and He will come and help me.”

Psalm 63:6  ” I lie awake at night thinking of You — of how much you have helped me — and how I rejoice through the night beneath the protecting shadow of your wings.”

Psalm 84:5-7  “Happy are those who are strong in the Lord, who want above all else to follow Your steps.  When they walk through the valley of weeping it will become a place of springs where pools of blessing and refreshment collect after rains!  They will grow constantly in strength and each of them is invited to meet with the Lord in Zion.”

Psalm 112:4,6-8  “Praise the Lord!  For all who fear God and trust in Him are blessed beyond expression.  Yes, happy is the man who delights in doing His commands.  When darkness overtakes him, light will come bursting in.  Such a man will not be overthrown by evil circumstances.  God’s constant care of him will make a deep impression on all who see it.  He does not fear bad news, nor live in dread of what may happen, for he is settled in his mind that Jehovah will take care of him.  That is why he is not afraid, but can calmly face his foes.”

Psalm 116:6  “The Lord protects the simple and the childlike.”

Psalm 119:49-50  “Never forget Your promises to me Your servant, for they are my only hope.  They give me strength in all my troubles; how they refresh and revive me!”

Psalm 145:17-19  “The Lord is fair in everything He does, and full of kindness.  He is close to all who call on Him sincerely.  He fulfills the desires of those who reverence and trust Him; He hears their cries for help and rescues them.”

Psalm 147:3  “He heals the broken-hearted, binding up their wounds.”

Purpose

Scripture for those who seek understanding of autism's role in a person's life:

1 Corinthians 12:18
But as it is, God arranged the members in the body, each one of them, as he chose.

2 Corinthians 12:9
But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.

John 9:1-3
As he passed by, he saw a man blind from birth. And his disciples asked him, “Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?” Jesus answered, “It was not that this man sinned, or his parents, but that the works of God might be displayed in him.

I can't answer why God has given us autism, but I do know that it is there to serve a purpose. And I find peace and comfort in knowing that there is a plan in place.

Lovely Poem

Read this in a book and absolutely LOVED it!! I had to share:

Autism Does Not Define Me

Accept me for who I am.
Understand that I may not always get what you're saying.
Trust that God has me here for a reason.
I am an amazing human being.
Socially, I might not fit in with society's expectations.
Mentoring can help me along the way.

Don't forget that I have feeling even if I don't express them.
Opportunities for my happiness are indeed possible.
Educate and encourage me without prejudice.
Show patience and kindness along the way.

Never give up trying to "get" me.
Ostracizing me will just shut me down.
Take time to try and come into my world.
Defining me as my diagnosis ignores my essence and best qualities.
Emerging talents may arise when you least expect them.
Friendship and honesty is valued to me more than you can imagine.
I am in need of love and tenderness too.
Never let me give up, especially when you see my mood shift.
Expect the unexpected and watch me enrich your life.

Many people will read this and I pray millions will act.
Embrace and empower someone with autism today.

--- Karen Krejcha
April 8, 2010

*sigh*

My heart is heavy today.  Even though the day started off well (I went to my rheumatologist for a 6-month follow up; everything came back normal, and I don't have to go back for another year!! -- and I lost 4 inches and gained 3 pounds in muscle!), I feel somewhat dejected.  Money is just a non-stop issue, and I'm not making any headway in making money.  Trying to get a job won't work; we'd have to put the kids in daycare, which would cost us a fortune and risk putting Ricky in someone's care who doesn't/won't/can't understand him.  Stupid student loans are taking our income tax refund from now until forever, so no money there.  Wages would be garnished to start paying them back as well.  I've made a real mess of things.

Unsure about the business situation.  I try and stay positive, but I can't help thinking that maybe this is not what I'm supposed to be doing.  If that be the case, I have NO idea what I AM supposed to be doing.  I don't get that little spark of excitement when I wake up, encouraging me to go out and "do."  It's so unstructured and unpredictable that I get frustrated and confused.  I don't know what I'm supposed to be doing when I don't have someone in front of me or when I'm not doing invites.  I'm also getting very annoyed at people who focus on the money and the lifestyle of the business; there is so much more to life than making money and spending it!  No one ever says anything about giving back to charity or doing any real "helping people" stuff.  I get that helping people lose weight and feel better IS helping them, but that's not the same thing as serving.

Went to an autism workshop yesterday on social skills.  There was a lot of good, interesting information, and I got some strategies to help Ricky when he gets a little older (they're mostly reading-based).  But, the speaker kept talking about "them" (referring to autistics) and I felt really uncomfortable.  When she tried to explain why it is that certain things are difficult for people with autism, she made it seem as if there was something wrong with us, that we should be pitied for our shortcomings.  I know she didn't mean anything like that by any means, but I still felt like I was an exhibit at a zoo.  Not that anyone was staring at me or anything.

Only one lady there knew I'm autistic as well (her son is on the spectrum, too), so there was no one there to relate to how I felt.  Even after I told the presenter that my son and I are both on the spectrum, she didn't ask for my input into explaining perspective or anything else that might have helped the group better understand.  I can't really explain what it was that bothered me so much; I guess it's just another one of those things where I didn't fit in, didn't know what to do, and just wanted to involved.  Granted, I'm not an expert on autism by any stretch of the imagination, but I can offer examples and explanations for some things as I have experienced them.  This is the first workshop I've been to since I was diagnosed; maybe that's what was bothering me.  It wasn't just an abstract discussion about anonymous children with autism, or even abstractly talking about Ricky.  It was specifically about me, something I could relate to, and I wasn't included.

Our support group meeting is tonight, and it will probably be cancelled afterwards.  The counselor is pregnant, due in a few months, there haven't been too many parents coming (I've been the only consistent one I know of), and the building has been bought by another company, so the doctors currently in the building are moving their practices.  Without a building next month and without a steady, regular roster of involved parents, we will probably stop having the group all together.  We're supposed to decide where to go from here tonight.  I'd like to go under the bed and hide.

Maybe I'm just having an existential identity crisis.  Who am I?  What am I?  Who/what am I supposed to be?