The "R" Word

So I saw a lot of posts of Facebook today about this Spread the Word to End the Word day.  I wasn't sure what it was, so I checked into it.  Basically, it's a campaign to get people to realize and understand that using the r-word (retarded, for those of you who may not have instinctively figured it out) to describe people, events, actions, things, etc. that we don't like is not acceptable.  It's sad, but in the 21st century, we still have to tell people it's not nice to call names and make fun of people.

Actually, I had this exact thing happen at a business training/meeting just a few weeks ago, in front of several hundred people.  Our speaker was explaining how easy it is to work our business (Herbalife, as a shameless plug for myself) and how he couldn't believe that there are people who had asked him how he remembered to take his tablets 3 times a day.  I'll own up -- I forget to take my tablets sometimes, and for this very training, I had filled my tablet box with everything I needed for the day that very morning, and then left it on the kitchen counter when I left the house.  IT HAPPENS -- we're only human.

Anyway, he went on to say that when he had these people come up to him and say "Man, how do you remember to take your tablets 3 times a day?", his response is as follows:

(In a tone mimicking and mocking a special needs person and tapping his wrist against his chest as he speaks) "Man, how do you remember to take your tablets 3 times a day?"  Then he says, normal tone, "Really, really?!?  What, are you mental?  It's really not that difficult."

I was horrified to hear that coming from someone high up in our organization, who up to this point I had enjoyed listening to speak on several occasions and with whom I had had no issue.  The audience was mostly quiet, but there were a few laughs around me.  Since my little man is autistic and currently has the language skills of a 2-yo (he's almost 5), to have this man make fun of someone who has a comprehension issue, whether the issue be mental retardation, Downs Syndrome, autism, or whatever, was sickening.  I had to leave the assembly hall before I lost it and did something I would regret (like telling him off in front of those several hundreds of people).  I debated about 20 minutes as to whether or not I would leave; I just couldn't enjoy the rest of the training.  I finally decided to stay since there wasn't much left to the training, and there was another speaker I wanted to hear.  It was difficult and unpleasant, but I paid for my ticket, and I wasn't going to let him rob me of that remaining training.

I talked to a friend who is also in the business, but who wasn't able to come to the training.  She asked how things were, and so I told her -- things were great, until the above mentioned.  Now, I used to be a teacher, and my friend here is still a teacher, so she was equally appalled.  She even found the man on Facebook and sent him an email about how his words were inappropriate and hurtful, and that he had offended someone in the audience.  Thanks, dear!  Smh.

Here's the response to her email:


Thank you for bringing that to my attention. I feel awful that hurt this lady's feelings and I would be more than willing to apologize. I was trying to make a point, but I can understand how that may have hurt her feelings. Hopefully she is able to not take offense so she will not be held back by it.
Sorry about that.


Ok, I'm not sure what "point" he was trying to make, but did he really just turn it around at the end and suggest that the problem was with ME being too sensitive?  That I'm allowing myself to be "held back" by expecting that grown adults, in a professional, business setting, behave like grown adults in a professional, business setting, and NOT use such insulting, degrading, inappropriate examples to make some obscure point???

Sincere apology?  I'm not convinced.  Perhaps, but not convinced.

So, to those of you out there who may be reading this, the r-word definitely has no place in our society. If something is stupid or ridiculous, just say it's stupid or ridiculous.  Equating that "something" to a person with mental challenges is just offensive.  If something is "r", then we don't typically treat it with any kind of respect or consideration; is that how people with special needs should be, and should be EXPECTED, to be treated??

Here's the Facebook link for a group who is encouraging social change in this regard - go check 'em out!  http://www.facebook.com/EndtheWord